The title is just something that I've been struggling with. I am a proud Christian, and I want everyone to know that I believe in Jesus. But sometimes, my way of living just does not reflect what God has taught me through all sorts of ways. I really want to do the best. Not for me, not for you, but for my dear saviour, Jesus Christ. So, here goes.

In this post I'm gonna share about my belief in Jesus. Please, if you've read my previous entries- especially during form1 and form2 posts, just know that I've changed a great deal since then. I rarely blog and if I do, its not that I've blogged the whole story of my life, and you just can't judge me by my posts.

Why out of the blue?
Well, I've been wanting to post about this for quite sometime now. But I just can't bring myself to it, cause i feel that i am not a good example for those who are still searching for His truth. But now, i'll just post it because i know, God has a great plan for you and for me.

Let me share a vision God gave me last Saturday at the PPK(Persatuan Pelajar Kristian) while a friend was sharing her problems to us. I suddenly imagined a house, a beautiful, mighty house. I was in the house. The house was well furnished, it was a nice, cozy home. and then a voice said in my head, "That's you Tessa." living comfortably in a nice house. Then i went downstairs, and there was food on the dining table. I was happy cause I realized someone cares about my welfare. The voice said to me, "Although you can't see me, I have provided you your meals." Then I felt myself struggling.
I asked God what is He trying to tell me.
I don't know how, but the vision became clear to me.
I was living in a comfortable house, which meant I am living under God's protection. He sheltered me with the house- I was living within His love. Then the meal served was God's blessings. Everyday, my meal, my sleep, my ability to do whatsoever is a gift, a blessing from God Himself.
Eventhough I can't see Him, I know it is Jesus. He provides me with all my needs because I am living in His presence- in the house.
Then, I visioned a drunk outside the house. Another man came, smoking. Then a few others, doing all sorts of bad things just outside the house. I felt disgusted and I wanted to close the door but God said to me "Tessa, bring them in. Introduce them to Me."
I felt deeply hurt that time. I felt I had done a sin to all those people outside. So i invited them in.
That's when I felt good inside. I can hear God saying "Tessa, this is what you ought to be doing."

To all the Christians out there, it is our job to let the whole world see how powerful God's love is. How can you invite them into God's presence when you lead a life that doesn't invite people? How can you shine for the Lord when you never seem to repent from your sins? I am not perfect, just like every human being alive. I am no where near perfection and that saddens me. But one can always change and in Jesus Christ, nothing is impossible.